Chocolate Cream Pie

So this time around I didn't realize it was my turn for desert until yesterday afternoon. By the time I got home, the bakery I planned on going to was already closed, so that'll have to wait for another time.

Anyway, I was out almost all night so I squeezed in a trip to my local Stop & Shop for a baked good or two. What I found was a special little treat called chocolate cream pie. Now, I had never heard of chocolate cream pie - only banana cream pie like on Sesame Street. But in the true spirit of Dude's Desert Day I decided to try something new (and hopefully delicious).

The chocolate cream pie looked like a pie crust, heavy pudding, whipped cream, and then chocolate bits and pieces on top. Overall, it was pretty tasty - and Denbo said it was 'delicious.'

Bova's Bakery - Cannoli's and Eclairs

Driving home last night I was running over in my head the various options for desert day. Could I beat out famous W's Key Lime Pie? Could I lay a smack down to some tiramisu? What sort of wizardry could run circles around the workings of Drew's Nicki? That's when it hit me...Bova's bakery has the workings of a serious competitor and thus was my only option for a desert that did not have the passion of one made from scratch. So off I went...



I first saw the sign in the distance with it's neon glow "Open 24hrs!"... you never know when you need a serious desert.


I was greeted by the friendly faces of the BOVA's staff...


And then of course the variable selection of delectable treats...

The selection was immense with the aroma of confectionary sugar and Italian pastry that was glorious and mouth watering. It was a venerable cornucopia of desert greatness. It was a difficult decision and with my car double parked I was leaning towards cannoli's...then I noticed the delicious éclairs on the bottom row. It was a toss up either way and I couldn't decide...but wait! This is America...and in America I do it my way, check all those boxes people! I'll take em both! And thus we had another great desert day... :)

Tiramisu - The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of

So, last post was... 9/15? That would be, what, 3 deserts ago! I hate to say it, but maybe those deserts were, um, just not worth writing about. Hey, don't blame me, I can only assume. But I'll tell you what it means to me to be a desert dude - It's all about this DDD. Okay slackers - Pay attention, this is how it's done.

Having just returned from China last week, I find myself craving an afternoon pick-me-up pretty much every day. As luck would have it, tiramisu is Italian for, well, "pick-me-up," so it seemed the natural choice for me to bring in for desert day this week.

Tiramisu

4 eggs, salmonella free*
1 c heavy cream
1/2 c + 2T sugar
8 oz (or 250g) Mascarpone cheese
1 T vanilla extract**
2 T hooch of some variety, if so desired (Kahlua, brandy, cognac, amaretto, etc.)

1 pkg (7 oz) Savoiardi lady fingers (about 30 pcs)
1 c fresh brewed espresso***, chilled, with 1T sugar added
1 oz good quality dark chocolate

Notes:
* Yes, this contains raw eggs. Deal with it.
** I would advise against using the immitation stuff.
*** Don't even think about that powdered stuff. Just stop.


Let's get this started.

Brewing Illy Espresso - Hey, if you're going to go to all this trouble, use some good coffee, right? This should be brewed ahead of time and stashed in the fridge.

First objective: Make 3 'batters' and then combine into 1

'Batter' #1 - Zabaglione/Mascarpone
This is the most difficult of the 3, and probably the most difficult part of the whole process. So relax - it gets easier after this. Place 4 egg yolks (separate and save the whites in the fridge for later), 1/2 c sugar, vanilla, and hooch (if using) into a double boiler. Hey, I don't have a real one either, so a pan of water and a stainless steel bowl will work just fine. Whisk over simmering water until the mixture starts to thicken up (about 5 minutes or so). You will know it's done when you can scoop some up and drizzle it back into the bowl and the surface ripples hang out for a couple of seconds before disappearing.

Egg yolks, sugar, vanilla over a double boiler.

Notice how much this has thickened up - you can see the drizzle piling up on itself. Remove from heat before you kill it.

In a separate bowl, pre-beat the mascarpone cheese with a hand mixer. Combine the two together, using the hand mixer. When uniform, stash in the fridge.

Add in mascarpone cheese.

Look how smoothly they are incorporated with each other.

'Batter' #2 - Whipped Cream
Clean off your hand mixer, you're going to fire it up again. Whip heavy cream and 1T sugar until it forms "stiff peaks." Insert joke here. Set aside. See, that was easier, right?

Whipping the cream...

until you get stiff peaks. Dip the beaters into the whipped cream and turn upside down. The peaks shouldn't droop.

'Batter' #3 - Whipped Egg Whites
I like to whip my egg whites (yeah, I'm dropping that all casually like I do it all the time - got a problem with that?) in a stand mixer, rather than with a hand mixer. Sure, you can use either if you like, but a word of warning - you MUST use clean beaters. One tiny blob of fat in there, and all you will have is a Rocky Balboa smoothie. Same goes for bits of yolk. If you screw that up when you separate the eggs, just hit the reset button. Eggs are cheap. Unless of course... Oh goodie! Time for an egg rant!

I couldn't help but notice the witty banter on this blog about this volitile firestorm of a subject. So where do I stand on the great egg debate? If you know me at all, you are right to assume that it all comes down to taste for me. Which boils down to buy fresh, high quality eggs. A word about safety - By now you know that you are going to be eating (and serving, if you're making this) raw eggs. Estimates put the odds of salmonella contamination at about 1 in 20,000. How can you reduce your risk? Well, don't buy eggs with feces on them, for one. Generally, mass market eggs are more likely to be contaminated than those from cage-free and organic farms, the idea being that closer quarters allow for a greater likelyhood of waste ending up on the egg at some point (1 point for Dags). I have few rules in life, but one of them is to eat as little fecal matter as humanly possible. If you want to be totally safe, use pasteurized eggs. Of course that is, if you can find them. Since none of the dudes present are either infants, elderly, or pregnant (at least, as far as I know) I went with "naturally farmed eggs" and am resting easy. Bottom line: If you're a hard core baptized believer, raise your own chickens. Or get your eggs from someone who does.

Now that I've got that off my chest, where was I? Oh yeah, whipped egg whites. Let's try that again.

'Batter' #3 - Whipped Egg Whites
Whip 4 reserved egg whites with 1T sugar using a mixure of your choice, until egg whites are stiff (even stiffer than the whipped cream - insert even lamer joke here). If you want to prove your manliness, use a whisk and do it by hand. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

I prefer to let the stand mixer tackle this.

Turn it on to max speed and let it go for 3 minutes or so to get stiff egg whites. But don't let it run too much or they will reliquify.

Now we're set with our 3 'batters' and ready to roll.

Time to combine the 3 'batters' into 1 mixture - but not so fast. We spent all this time whipping a ton of air into these 'batters' so that they would be fluffy and light. It would be a shame to spoil all that work and deflate them now by mashing them together indiscriminately. Instead, fold them together, starting with the whipped cream into the zabaglione/mascarpone. What is folding? If you care, check this demo out. If you don't, well, there's some unintentional comedy there, so you might want to check it out anyways.

Notice the swirl pattern, characteristic of the folding technique.

When these two are combined uniformly, then fold in the egg whites in like manner.

Complete and ready for assembly.

Now the fun begins.

Second objective: Assemble the tiramisu

Get your work area organized first, you'll thank me later. Get out the batter mixture, the cold espresso, the lady fingers, a large rectangular vessel of some type with at least 4" high walls, and a rubber spatula. The process is simple, basically alternating layers of the cream with espresso soaked lady fingers.

Start by coating the bottom of the dish with a 1" layer of the cream mixture. Next, it's time to take the lady fingers, hit them with some of that espresso, and layer them on top. But first you need to know about the soak test.

You see, all lady fingers are not created equally. Of particular interest is how quickly they absorb liquid. If they get too waterlogged, they will fall apart and the tiramasu will be soggy. Too little espresso, and they will stay hard and crunchy, which is not the texture you want in tiramisu. It seems like every tiramisu recipe has a different method and timing suggestion for how to dip the biscuits into the espresso, but this is meaningless unless you know what you're dealing with. To me, it's worth it to sacrifice one of your biscuits to run a quick little test. Break one lady finger in half, and dunk into the espresso, turning it over every 1 to 2 seconds. Take care not to completely submerge. You want to get good ring definition to gauge the penetration rate (um... absolutely no comment). For the stuff I bought, it took about 5 seconds (rotating every second or so) to get the right amount of coffee into my biscuits. You will need to adjust this timing for your materials.

This is the crossection I'm looking for. Since this will be sitting overnight in the fridge before serving, I want to make sure that there is a little bit of dry biscuit to absorb moisture. This will help the final product set up nice and firmly. If this were totally soaked, the tiramisu would be watery and the coffee taste probably a bit too strong.

So dip, shake off the excess, and place in a layer. Cover with cream, and repeat, this time with the lady fingers going in the perpendicular direction (big words). Cover with another layer of the cream. Let sit int the refrigerator overnight. This will allow the ingredients to set together, making the perfect consistency for the finished product.

Rack and stack. Alternate direction for next layer.

Immediately before serving, it's time to apply the coup de gras. Using a fine grater, shave chocolate over the top of the tiramisu. If you are unambitious and want to take the easy way out, use cocoa powder. But hey, if you made this from scratch, the least you can do is get some decent chocolate to throw on top.

Finished Tiramisu - Tableside chocolate shaving always goes over well.

Now that's what I'm talking about. As with most culinary feats executed by the male species, this one will certainly impress the ladies. Dudes? You're welcome.